i never fall apart because i never fall together

well blog, it's been a while...

2011-12-24T07:59:00.000-05:00

a quick rundown of the past four years:

i met, fell in love with and married my best friend matthew buxton in october 2009.

we moved to a small low-rise apartment building in roncesvalles

a little polish area of toronto beside high park, where we still live.

we went on a cruise to bermuda for our honeymoon and shortly after we adopted our first cat spencer (who loves to play dead).

in the spring of 2010 we decided that spencer was lonely and adopted sister kitties for him.

sophie

and ella

spencer hated them (and still only tolerates them because he has to).

these three kitties keep us company and make us laugh a lot!

we're content with our little kitty family for now.

we went on another cruise in october 2010, this time to the caribbean. it was a blast!

this past summer took a road trip to cleveland (to see the blue jays vs. the indians)

and pittsburgh (to visit the warhol museum).

my best friend colleen also got married this summer!

since my last post i've been in a few art shows

(most recently a show called heir/looms at studio beluga in montreal).

amanda was also in the show!

i worked a few different jobs (starbucks, freechurch, tyndale).

now i work for habitat for humanity toronto.

matt works at costco as part of their maintenance team.

this past summer he started his own business nest yard care.

well, i think that pretty much covers the basics. i promise to post more often.

love megarrah

day twelve

2008-05-12T10:25:00.003-04:00

as of may 1st, i made a vow to myself not to step onto the ttc for anything, but instead to bike everywhere. i haven't broken it yet, even during the pouring rain... i really hope i can make it all the way through the heat of the summer and into the fall. either way, i'm getting in pretty sweet shape and i feel more alive than ever. here's a map of my route to work. it's almost 20k to and from work. that's like 40k a day!! not including errands and fun riding...

yay biking! i love it.

my ride to work
Find more Commutes in Etobicoke, Ontario

new!

2008-04-06T22:31:00.002-04:00

biking makes me happy.

a. (haiku)

2008-03-27T00:22:00.003-04:00

haikus never cease
continually composing
in five seven five

everything changes (again)

2008-03-18T21:44:00.003-04:00

its been a while since new york; since i last wrote. i must admit that new york wasn't everything i hoped it would be, but i guess that's what happens when you have expectations.

new york city in the winter is not ideal. vomiting for days with the flu is not ideal. however, i did have fun. i got to go to moma, which is something i've wanted to do for years. standing next to duchamps made my insides want to explode. hanging out with lisa, sue, david and karl was so much fun. i really like lisa a lot, she's super fantastic. enoch and i spent a lot of time shopping and found some killer deals. i got new super skinny jeans (which is EXACTLY what i wanted). i also got a stellar pair of grey patent-leather pumps (which i am dying to wear). but my favourite purchase has to be my black marc jacobs rain boots.

but something was off in new york city.

enoch and i broke up shortly after our trip. deep down inside, i knew it was coming. it just wasn't working out.

but i'm glad we dated (even if it was short lived). enoch taught me a lot about living in community, about loving, about blessing others. i met a lot of wonderful people and made a lot of new friends. i pray that after everything blows over enoch and i will still remain good friends. because i love enoch. not in a romantic kind of way, but in a good friend sort of way. the kind of way i love amanda.

its remarkable how complete i feel. i honestly can see areas where i've grown and how jesus has been transforming me. when people ask me what happened, my response has been that things just weren't working. if this wasn't what god wanted for me, then its not what i want either. i am not willing to settle for second best. and for the record, i don't hate enoch. i'm not even upset with him at all. i mean, breakups are never easy, but i have a remarkable peace about everything. and for people who are seeking juicy gossip, my response to you is this: i am not willing to say mean things about enoch, things that would hurt him and tear down his character. there's no freedom in that. i still think very highly of enoch and i pray that jesus blesses his little asian socks off. that is my heart's desire.

i find myself missing though. i miss the sense of community that the boy's house has. i miss the girlfriends. i really miss hanging out.

otherwise, i am finding inspiration in unexpected places. i feel alive again. i feel like myself again. jesus is working on me. i'm learning new things. i see beauty in everything.

i've been reading a lot. i'm learning a lot. i'm starting to figure out what love really is.

i've finally figured out where i want to go with my artwork, which feels SO incredible. i felt like i was stuck for a really really long time. huzzah!

p.s. it's almost spring!!

brooklyn, ny

2008-02-24T22:04:00.003-05:00

the countdown

2008-02-12T01:12:00.000-05:00

new york is only four sleeps away. i feel like enoch and i have been talking about new york for so long, and now it's almost here (and looking more exciting by the minute). i feel like things are falling into place, and god's providing amazing opportunities for us. hurray for finding a bed and breakfast in brooklyn!!!

my time at bay and cumberland is almost up too! only two more shifts. goodbye yorkville, hello leslieville! i can't wait.

i also got a new haircut. its cut to be curly, but i just straightened it and i feel like i look like i'm from the '80s. david bowie or something.

this is a picture of what it looks like curly. (from agata's anti-valentine's day party on fridy night).

but i'm already missing my old haircut.

sigh.

i guess i just need to get used to my new hair.

okay. i'm going to bed.

how time quickly passes and how things have changed

2008-02-05T12:53:00.000-05:00

a quick recap:

my starbucks stalker got the hint (after i avoided him for a week). he must've switched to another sbux because i never saw him again.

i turned twenty-four on october 30th. i spent the evening celebrating with my lovelies at the rhino (probably one of my favourite places ever).

in november michael took me to see the go team! for my birthday. i danced hard. i loved every minute.

i got promoted to shift supervisor at the bux.

sarah left the bux for a new store at leslie and lakeshore. i cried.

i cut my hair.

on december 16th a massive snow storm cancelled the isherwood annual family carol sing. but that day ended up being one of the most memorable in retrospect. tasty food. amelie. running and sliding down the steep, snowy street on my feet. freedomize. christmas excitement. holding hands. puffy coats with fur hoods.

enoch and i turned into a couple.

tom came home for the holidays.

i went home to kingston to spend christmas with the fam.

i got a new imac!!

i came back to t.o. for new year's eve. i spent the evening rocking a pencil skirt and dancing like a maniac with enoch, dylan, jo, karl, matty, dan and heather.

i spend a lot of time at the boy's house. enoch has the world's best roommates ever!

i'm spending more time with my own roommates heather and michelle.

i've met a lot of amazing people and am becoming more connected to freedomizers.

i love my church.

blackparty! (i danced like a maniac)

i've been seeing more of amanda. i love her. she's started coming to freedomize more regularly too!!

i bought a flash meter so i can start taking some stellar photos using my strobes. i'm finally uncontrollably excited to start shooting again. i've got a project burning inside of me.

i'm transferring to sarah's new store at leslie and lakeshore. goodbye bay and cumberland!! hurrah!

count down to nyc with enoch: 10 days! (we're going for a week!! eeeeeeee!!!!)

now i have to get ready for work.

the rise and fall of the needle

2008-02-05T11:35:00.000-05:00

i always return to my blog with the best of intentions; a plan to integrate blogging into my daily routine agian. alas, it never actually happens. i guess inspiration has been sparse. i've been lazy. exhausted. busy. but really these are just silly excuses.

life has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. one day i've got it all together, only to discover that i've almost completely fallen apart. unraveled, a messy pile of tangled threads. then slowly, thread by thread, i come back together again. this process is a constant and i realize i need this. i am being reworked into something better. i'm given purpose. the knotted threads are cut and thrown away replaced by stronger ones.

i'm rediscovering grace, hope and love.

this new year has a promise of good.

oh boy, oh no!

2007-10-15T17:01:00.000-04:00

okay. so i am back in the teedot (for those of you who care) and i have been meaning to blog more often, i promise i have been! but getting settled back into a routine of working full time and commuting has been a bit tiresome.

some noteworthy events since i've relocated.

i moved into a house in etobicoke with heather and michelle. its a pretty sweet place to live, and i have loads of light in my room. sa-weeeeet! the only thing that sucks is the 50 minute commute to work. le sigh.

my first week back in the city was pretty rough.

1) a shelf fell in the middle of the night and something landed on my powerbook, wrecking a portion of the screen...which is super lame, considering i don't have money to get a new computer.

2) a mouse got stuck in the floorboards outside my room and started screeching like crazy waking me out of a dead sleep at 3am. (and for those of you who know me, you know that i really dislike mice).

3) i was the key witness to a pretty scary homeless scuffle which escalated into a fight and restulted in one homeless woman pouring stuff all over her victim and setting her on fire. i called 911 for the first time in my life, and then had to deal with police, paramedics, fire fighters... then i had to go to headquarters and was taken to a padded room where i was video taped and audio recorded retelling about what i saw. then the officers pressed me for details, just like they do on tv which was kind of crazy. it was one of the more insane things i've ever experienced.

since that first absolutely awful week, things have been getting better. i've spent my time hanging out with friends and working at my old starbucks full time. the one downside to being at the store so often allows for more and more weirdo encounters and the development of a new starbucks stalker. le sigh.

he works at pottery barn. he's the stock manager there, and i'm pretty sure he's like mid to late thirties. he's really nice but i am not attracted/interested in him at all. today the stalking reached an ultimate high when he came to starbucks at 3pm when he knew i was off, and then hung around outside the entrance to bay station so that i'd bump into him. he introduced himself and said "i know i'm not the best at being subtle". i just thought to myself "oh shit". he asked me if i was busy and i told him that i wasn't really... then he said "i would ask you to go for coffee, but you already work at starbucks. is there somewhere else you'd like to go in the area? or do you want to walk around and talk?" and so because i'm not very good at thinking up quick lies to get myself out of any given situation, i ended up walking around with him. bad news. i mean, he's very nice, but not for me. 1) he smokes. 2) he's got to be pushing 40. 3) he's not into art. 4) he doesn't agree with me when it comes to christ/christianity. 5) he has no style.

at the end of the walk he was telling me what a good time he had, whereas i just wanted to cry from feeling weirded out/awkward. le sigh. he asked me if i'd be working monday, and i told him i'd be there... ugh. what am i supposed to do?!

oh blog, i'm sorry

2007-08-21T09:27:00.000-04:00

well, i officially would say that up until this point i had fallen off the blogging bandwagon. you know its bad when you've completely forgotton about you blog until one day when you're going through your facebook account and in your info section it lists your blog as one of your websites and your response is "oh yeah! i have a blog".

with that being said, i realize i have a lot of ground to make up... so i'll start by listing the events of significance to me.

well, i decided to move home to kingston (which is where i am living right now). i felt like i was what god wanted me to do...but didn't know why. i transferred to a starbucks in kingston, to quickly find out it would be one of the worst work environments i've ever worked in. but i think things are going to be changing...

terri's wedding was at the end of june, which was awesome. i really like nathan a lot, and it was good to get to know tyler and the gang through the whole bit. brock and i hooked up with ty and mark and did a small set of music for the reception. i also got to meet adam (the one i'd heard about but never actually met because he was away). he's pretty wicked, with his super sass and skinny jeans. he makes me laugh really hard. its also cool to hear stories from the time he spent at hillsongs in austrailia.

i've spent a lot of time this summer at the cottage in cobourg, visiting friends in woodstock, and on the road this summer. i went to new york city for the first time in my life, which was life changing. i also got to see hillsongs do worship at a joyce meyer conference, which totally blew me away. i long to visit austrailia. perhaps i'll move there for a bit. i've dreamed about that since i was a kid...

i was in alleyjaunt again this year, which went really well. i will be posting pics of my installation online soon (via facebook).

this past weekend i spent with the gang from the 'stock at tyler's cottage loonie lodge. it was an amazing time getting to know some people better and lounging around eating watermelon endlessly. it was really awesome to spend more time with ele (ty's friend from estonia). i'm going to miss her when she goes back (she's been here all summer). i also find it crazy that i keep meeting people i recognize from working at urban promise, who are somehow connected to my friends in woodstock. the world keeps getting smaller.

i guess that brings me to today. today i have the day off, which i will spend repacking. and yes, its official, i am moving back to toronto. i'm going to be living down on the lakeshore with heather and michelle, which i am super pumped about!! and sarah gave me my job back at bay and cumberland, so it will almost be like i never left...

i guess that's the update. i'll start blogging in depth again sometime soon. i promise. i've missed blogging, and i have a lot to say...

love m.

i write to you from a small room

2007-05-14T20:59:00.001-04:00

as i reflect on a weekend.

i spent the past weekend visiting terri in woodstock. i finally got to meet nate and ty, and her family. ah, it was so wonderful! it was a weekend of meeting people and feeling like you've known them for your entire life. woodstock was good for my spirit. i felt god poking at me and i knew i was supposed to be there; it wasn't by chance.

terri met me at the train station on friday morning. when my train pulled in, i couldn't stop smiling. we greeted one another, and walked to nate's house (soon to be her house as well). she showed me around the house and all the renos nate had been working on. i needed some caffiene, so terri took me to the infamous coffee culture for vanilla lattes. as we were leaving, we ran into tyler. i've been talking to him for a while now, so it was nice to finally meet him in person. he sounded completely different than i'd imagined, but looked exactly how i thought he would.

ty took me on a tour of woodstock and then we stopped at his place to help him move some mattresses upstairs into the empty bedroom. after the awkward lugging (and a lot of laughing) ty bought terri and i lunch at a pub close by. ty had to head to work for 3pm, so terri and i headed to pick nate up from work, then ciaran from daycare. we headed to the grocery store to pick up some food for dinner, and then headed home to bbq.

friday night terri had to work an overnight shift, so nate and i had a bonfire in terri's backyard. ty joined us after work and it was nice to sit around a campfire and listen to stories about people i didn't really know. probably close to 2am, ty and i headed back to his place and i crashed on the mattressess terri, tyler and i had lugged up from the basement earlier that day.

saturday morning i crawled out of bed and heard someone in the kitchen. i was super thirsty and headed to grab a glass of water. when i walked into the kitchen i realized that the guy in the kitchen was not tyler, but his roommate dallas. i felt so awkward, having just woke up and feeling all gross from the aftermath of extreme heat and bonfire stench of the previous day. i blurted out a hello to him (since he hadn't noticed me standing in his kitchen) and introduced myself. it was hilarious. he was super friendly, and he helped me find a towel so i could take a shower, then he headed to work.

i jumped on the opportunity to hog the bathroom while ty wasn't yet awake. the shower felt so good... i was so exhausted. when i got out of the shower i realized that i had left the towel in the spare bedroom, so i had to pull my pjs on over my wet body and scramble across the hallway to get it.

tyler and i headed to coffee culture and grabbed some caffiene, then made our way to the church for the worship seminar everyone was going to. when i was at the seminar, i was floored with how god was totally answering my prayers as i sat and listened. it was unbelievable. i began to realize that things happening this weekend weren't just happening by chance.

after the conference, nate, terri and i picked ciaran up from "pink grandma's" house and went to the touch a truck day which was a ton of big trucks (like garbage trucks, transports, etc) and cars were parked for little kids to climb on.

saturday night i went to terri's lingere bridal shower which was pretty fun. i got to meet some of the friends she grew up with. after the shower, i realized that all of my stuff was still in tyler's house, but he was out with nate and a bunch of guys and probably wouldn't be home anytime soon. so i decided to break into his place and get my stuff back. afterwards i asked terri if its still considered breaking and entering if you know the person whose house you're breaking into and you're just taking back what is yours.

sunday we had to head to church early since nate and terri were on the worship team. i was dying for some caffiene and nate had to stop at the bank, so he dropped me off at coffee culture, where i ran into tyler (again) and so i just headed back to the church with ty.

sunday afternoon terri and i cooked brunch for her family, while terri's dad made moon pie (which is acutually lemon meringue pie with the failed meringue part). the afternoon sped by and soon enough we were back at church, early again, because transit (youth band) was playing for p.m. worship. the service was so crazy... its weird when the sermon lines up with things you've been thinking about and the passages are the same ones you've been reading on your own...

after church we headed back to terri's to put ciaran to bed and eat some moon pie. then terri, nate and i piled into the car to drive me back to toronto. we picked up tyler at coffee culture and we hopped on the highway. we had tyler's ipod so we could listen to pretty much anything (he has a TON of music). i settled on underoath, and it made me want to dance so bad. nate asked me if i could scream, and when i told him i could, ty and nate kept bugging me to scream. i told them i wouldn't unless it was super loud, and so terri cranked it and we all screamed the entire cd of they're only chasing safety. ah. good times.

when we got to t.o. i ripped tyler's new fiest cd, and we all walked to pizza pizza to get something to eat. then, it was time for us all to part ways, and i was so sad to say goodbye. i miss terri already.

i had to work at 7:45a this morning, and when my alarm went off, i wanted to do nothing more than to shut it off and sleep in.

when i got to work, my day just started off to a bad start. i broke one of the urns, then i got stuck on bar and kept screwing up. then i broke the mop, dented the back milk fridge, knocked down clean stuff that had just been sanitized, got garbage all over the floor cause someone didn't tie it shut, then i sliced my wrist open on a cardboard box while taking it to the recycling. then i spilled milk on the floor and got stuck as an acting shift supervisor (when i don't know what i'm doing) with a bunch of new partners which made it difficult. i guess this is what i'm gonna have to get used to since i'm going to be promoted. i also found out that i'll most likely be sent to the annex (bathurst and bloor sbux).

i headed home and talked to terri on the phone for a quick bit. then i beaded for a while, listening to underoath, then started crying hysterically. my heart is heavy for a few friends and my bro bro.

then the doorbell keeps ringing. when i get to the door, no one is there. i'm not entirely sure WHAT is going on.

okay. that's about it. i hope terri calls me back soon. i want to talk to her again.

love m.

number two

2007-04-25T00:28:00.000-04:00

other things that happened last week:

the weather was unbelievable!! hurray for sunshine.

i rode my bike everywhere.

kalin got me hooked on man hunt.

i made some big decisions.

i had wonderful conversation with terri.

i drank pineapple juice.

starbucks brings out the weirdo in people...

2007-04-24T23:50:00.000-04:00

...or maybe people are just weird and creepy.

last week i had many weird encounters:

tuesday i was working bar when i called a drink to russell (who was on cash) so he could ring it in. i guess i yelled it with force, and his response was "woah you said that firmly". a business man in a suit and tie leans over the edge of the counter and asks me "are you el dante?" i was steaming milk, and rather confused. the man kept repeating it. now, if you're not a barista you may not know, but its hella hard to hear what people are saying to you when you're steaming milk. kaitlyn stepped beside me to check on what was going on. finally the man asks me "are you el dante? are you firm and tender?" me, who still hasn't heard a work he said, kept making my drinks. it was, after all, morning rush. kaitlyn looks at me and exclaims "are you OKAY with him saying that?" i was confused... i still had no idea what he said to me. later kaitlyn filled me in. ugh.

last thursday the homeless man who gave me the library of tony robbins self help audio tapes in the fall told me he was going to adopt me because "the images they sent to you on that island were SO wrong. you see, i have to adopt you. can't you see this is the only way?" i just looked at him and said "i don't know about that..."

on sunday, the weird man with the green jacket, shades, and toque - the one who stands across the street from our store watching us, voguing at random - walked into the store, pointed his finger at me in a gun formation, then walked away. he is so creepy. i was freaked out a little.

man, i know there are more stories...but i can't remember them all right now. this is why blogging daily is key.

tattoo

2007-04-24T00:19:00.000-04:00

as terrified i am by needles and the thought of being tattooed, i really want to tattoo my feet...

what needs to be said

2007-04-20T23:11:00.000-04:00

i have a million and one things i need to write about, but i don't have the patience to type them all right now. so, i leave that for tomorrow.

but for now, i just want to say that i have an interview (tomorrow at 9:30a) for a one year contract position head office for starbucks.

i'm ridiculous

2007-04-12T22:16:00.000-04:00

i've been listening to the same album on repeat for the past 6.5 hours...

today i cleaned my house, including dusting (which i sometimes skip). its nice having a clean house, not that my place is ever actually dirty... but its just nice to have a tidy space.

i made some buttons for mikee's sister (she wanted to buy 6) but plans fell through and i didn't get to see mikee to drop them off for her.

i sent a somewhat sassy e-mail to the chair of visual arts today about the e-mail she forwarded to me from the dean that stated that his legal council confirmed that i can be liable for the debt of the store as an employee. i spent today in semi freak-out mode, wondering how i was going to find free legal council and deal with this situation. luckily brandon has a lawyer, which relieves some of my stress. this whole situation is escalating to more than i can deal with right now.

okay. i am going to bed. today has been stressful and i need to sleep.

goodnight.

the canada food guide

2007-04-11T23:01:00.000-04:00

today was the first day in my life where i ate according to the canada food guide... i'm taking the challenge, and gonna see how many days i can actually stick to it.

today my "hockey beau" came into sbux... although i fear he's more of a stalker than i thought. the first thing he asked me when he saw me was how my time was at home in kingston. then he kept walking back and forth across the front of the store, like he was waiting for me. creepy... i saw him getting his coat on when i was cashing out, and so once i punched out i just hid in the back for a while until i could escape.

today i also got a scary letter forwarded to me from the chair and dean of visual arts... lucky me.

now i think i'm gonna hit the sack.

cds i can't part with

2007-04-09T10:10:00.000-04:00

i've been going through my old cds and preparing a stack for value village. its funny because i just can't seem to part with my old mxpx albums... as cheesy as it is, those guys have a little space in my heart and i don't know if i'll ever be able to get rid of those cds. ever.

bird sanctuary

2007-04-08T17:42:00.000-04:00

the new and exciting thing to do in my family is bird watch. my mom bought my dad these incredibly amazing binoculars for chirstmas (with image stabelizer and all) just so he can watch the birds.

now, my dad has always been into nature and animals but this year has been bird watching to the max. my parents now have five bird feeders in the front yard and i think every bird in this viscinity knows. this morning we had at least fifty (probably way more...but i can't count them because they hop around too much) birds on our lawn. its hilarious because my dad has this gigantic bird book, and so whenever there is a new kind of bird, he looks it up and then teaches whoever happens to be in the living room about that particular type of bird.

the types of birds i've seen thus far: yellow finch (male and female), cardinal (male and female), grakles, cow birds, a few different kinds of woodpeckers (i can't remember them), a variety of sparrows, robins, blue jays, doves... that's all i can think of right now.

this new bird watching thing, its kind of endearing.

the u.s. of a.

2007-04-07T19:50:00.000-04:00

this morning my family decided to head to watertown, new york to go shopping today. i was actually pretty pumped since stuff in the u.s. is generally cheaper. there's this wicked department store called kohls, and its actually amazing! i found the cutest dress there - white with green polka dots all over it - that just screamed megarrah. as soon as i saw it, i was like "i have to get this dress! i can wear it to terri's wedding!!" and so i tried it, and it fit perfectly, and it was even 40% off. score-o megatron. then i went to payless and found adorable shoes to go with the dress... and they were only $12. i like it when things like that come together. even though the wedding isn't til the end of june, i'm happy i was able to find something very cute, and totally cheap.

all in all, an amazing day of shopping. i even got a cheese grater!

on the way home the man working at customs was a total ass. my dad apparently didn't let the man finish his sentence, and so he FLIPPED OUT on him, lecturing him on how he didn't like the way he cut him off and how he should let him say all he has to say before my dad spoke back and he just kept going until my dad apologized profusely. i was just thinking wow, what an asshole... all because my dad was ready to tell him how much we spent. man. if it were me, i would have flipped out. or started to cry. the man was way out of line. but who can you even complain to? they ARE the government...

anyways... that was my day.

when we got home, brock and his roommates were in the backyard playing paintball. let's just say that everyting is now bright yellow behind our house...

2007-04-05T21:28:00.000-04:00

i miss my powerbook. this happens every time i come home. i've been using apple for so long now that i just feel so inept when i'm using a pc. oh well, here's to a week of me mashing wrong buttons.

today was an adventure, but perhaps i should start with lastnight.

lastnight i went to the winters fine arts formal with amanda, chuck, heather, tiffany, bethany, kristie and harris. my table was so ridiculous that we were dancing sitting down while eating our dinner... and everyone was staring. but we didn't care, we were dancing, and that's why we were there.

once we got on the dance floor i exploded. when i dance, its like i'm in another world and nothing around me exists anymore. i don't think i've ever danced that hard before. ever. man it was fun... amanda said that she actually thought her insides were going to explode from laughing at me so hard, because i'm insane when i dance... and people stare. i felt pretty disgusting by the end of the night, but it was well worth it.

at around midnight, i was feeling pretty zonked so i headed to the entrance area of the hall for some fresh air. when i turned around i saw a girl running towards the washroom with a water pitcher in her hand, then it came. vomit central. that was my exit cue.

amanda, chuck and i had decided to take the 12:30 bus back to york since amanda had to work at archive, and i had to catch my train home to kingston at 12:20...

on my way downtown this morning i stopped at starbucks to talk to sarah. she wants me to consider the promotion from barista to shift supervisor. but becoming a shift means that they'll transfer me to yorkville... i mean, yorkville is literally just around the corner, but i am in love with the partners at bay and cumberland, and it hurts my insides to think of leaving.

when i got home i showered, checked e-mail and packed for home. then, i looked at the clock. panic surged through my body. "i'm going to miss my train!" so i busted my ass to union station, missing my train by only one minute. agh! i tried to switch the ticket to another train, and the only train that had seats left in economy was the one at 10:30pm. or, i could have the very last seat in first class on the 3:10 train. i called my dad, and he told me to just book the ticket and forget about the money. i think he just wanted me to come home.

riding first class is ridiculous. they feed you practically the entire trip! when i got off the train my mom picked me up and said "we're going to bbq for supper!" and i was like "ohhhh man... i already ate" it was a total bummer too, since i'd been longing for a bbq. i felt ridiculous in first class. i didn't know how to act, and secretly i just wanted to read...

i've only been home for a few hours, but its nice to be here. morris and sneaky were there to greet me when i got home.

after dinner my mom, meaghan and i took grandma home, and i went to indigo to pick up my dad's b-day gift. i got him a vinyl cafe cd because he loves stuart mclean a lot (and secretly, i am dying to listen to more of his stories, even though i have all the books and have read them all). i bought brock a copy of velvet elvis and insisted that my mom drive me straight to his house to give it to him. when i walked in, i handed it to him and told him it'd blow his mind. it was funny because his response was "oh, i've been looking for a new book to read." ever since i started reading it, i was like "i have to get a copy for my bro bro" so i did. the next book i have to get the kid to read is blue like jazz...

jake was at brock's place and they were jamming, so i went upstairs to listen to a few new songs they've written. i liked what i heard, a nice little treat.

that's all.

bon nuit

bloor and lansdowne

2007-04-04T12:36:00.000-04:00

listening to the sound of birds chirping as people inside the royal conservatory plunk away at their piano lessons. the air is warm although the sky's drizzling down and its beautiful. its moments like these that make me happy to be alive.

and no cat calls! that's a record... i never make it to the mall and back without some man yelling something at me. i guess thats the biggest disadvantage to living at bloor and lansdowne, creepo central.

i picked up a birthday card for my dad today and i actually bought a sappy one. i bought these little sockettes that i am hoping will prevent me from getting mad blisters form the hours i'll spend dancing like a maniac at formal tonight. and i also picked up the almost southern weather. i admit it, music is my vice...

the pick up

2007-04-03T22:46:00.000-04:00

today was a strange sort of day. i woke up, with full intentions of doing laundry, but then decided to rearrange my living room instead. but rearranging my living room meant moving my gigantic cube bookcase, and moving the bookcase meant unloading everything off of it. my apartment looked like a book explosion. ah books, how i love you. it took forever, but i eventually got my apartment back in order, then did laundry AND dropped off my unwanted stuff to the salvation army.

then it was time to head to work at starbucks. and then it happened. the pick up.

now, i am probably the most awkward person when it comes to guys hitting on me. probably because i think its hilarious and i can't seem to handle myself. the dialogue went a little like this:

guy: hey
me: hello
are you new to this location?
nope. i've been working here since last may.
oh. i've never seen you.
well, i had a full time job somewhere else so i only work here part time.
oh yah, where?
york university.
oh. well, when do you work here?
sporatically.
are you closing tonight?
yes.
well, i'm going to a friend's place to watch the big hockey game tonight...
that's cool (thinking about how i just want to say "i loathe hockey"
well, will i be seeing you more often?
well, maybe. i'm going away for a while...
where are you going?
to home for easter.
where's home?
in kingston.
i see. well, i guess i'll see you when you get back.
uh... yah i guess.

*he then introduces himself (i don't remember his name though) while shaking my hand then goes and sits directly across from the bar so he can creepishly watch me.

awkward. as i was standing, trying to hide behind the bar, i could hear glen, joanne and kerry laughing about the situation. i ran over to glen and they all started teasing me... joanne has nicknamed him my "hockey beau" and glen calls him "hockey dad". i just laughed hysterically and wanted to disappear. the guy was definitely good looking, but there's just something too creepy about a guy hitting on me in starbucks.

as he went to leave he came back over and wished me a happy easter. it was cute, but you know... a bit to weird for my liking.

that's all.

m.

there's something to be said for bleeding hearts

2007-03-31T09:54:00.000-04:00

i just woke up and writing usually comes easiest to me when i first crawl out of bed. although my prime is generally at 5am, i was much too lazy to get up this morning.

first off, i need to say that god is good. and that he shows up. and he's there when we're looking for him. somtimes i forget that.

i've hit a point in my christian walk. sink or swim? i've decided to swim. its just so easy to drift along, but the drifting can only last for so long before the sinking. and its easier for people to latch on to you and start pulling when you're drifting, and usually its in a direction that you never wanted to go in the first place.

last sunday i decided to pick up velvet elvis by rob bell and blue like jazz by donald miller. terri told me to pick up velvet elvis months ago, and i'm so glad she did. i'm just so desparate to know god more, and i'm so thirsty.

i went to see underoath on thursday night, and its funny but i always have a god encounter at their shows... nadine asked me to go last sunday, but i was like "i can't, i just lost my job." but she offered to buy my ticket, and i jumped at the possibility to see them. it turned out that my grandma sent me $150 - $130 of which will go to my train trip home for easter, and $20 left for whatever. when we got to arrow hall (my least favourite venue of all time) we waited in line outside. nadine said she hadn't bought my ticket, just in case, but i told her it was cool because now that grandma sent money, i could afford it on my own. when we got inside i went to line up to grab a ticket. nadine went over to ask a security guard whether there were still tickets left, and a guy overheard her who had an extra ticket and told her he'd sell it to me. when i asked him how much he wanted for it, he looked at me and said "$20?" i was like "okay!" fumbelling through my wallet for my money, feeling so blessed by this guy. i got that ticket almost $20 cheaper than what they were being sold for in the first place!

the show was great, but not the best i'd seen underoath play. the sound quality is always terrible at arrow hall. but still, there's always something for me to take away at their shows. this time, it was being blessed knowing that god cares about the little things. and their music, it gets me. i love the freedom i feel when dancing to their music. and their lyrics become so much more alive in real life. moving for the sake of motion has become my song, especially the line "oh, my god, i hate the me that i've become. this needy useless forgetting one" that line encapsulates everything i've been feeling. its time for change, and my heart is aching.

but this time, the aching is good. its the longing for something new, for something more. to know what god wants for me, and where my feet should be going. to know god and his promises. to hear his voice, to feel his presence. to be the one i'm called to be...

2007-03-27T14:45:00.000-04:00

today is my second last day working at rts stuff. i'm ready to be finished with this place, more than you could ever possibly imagine. tomorrow is the funeral, and i've got some surprises stuffed up my sleeve...

i'm reading a new book called velvet elvis by rob bell. so far, i'm enjoying it.

i went to freedomize on sunday. it was good to be there. i got to chat with rob for a while, which was really really nice. i miss him. i miss the east end. i need to ride my bike to the beach sometime soon i think...

colleen came to the city to visit alisa so the three of us went out for dinner. colleen crashed at my place after. it was nice to see her, even though i basically just went to bed when we got home.

i have the biggest craving for new cds. i'd really like to purchase some castanets, shapes and sizes and half handed cloud. three super great bands...

tonight i have a load of baking to do for the funeral reception... and after i'm going to see anne and joel play at the ram (ryerson pub. 9pm. come!)

okay. i think that's all the words i can squeeze out right now.

m.

colin campbell and castanets

2007-03-25T01:30:00.000-04:00

this afternoon i went to see the curatorial incubator at v tape. narcissism in 80s video art. it was actually pretty good... colin campbell's dangling by their mouths and wendy geller's seven. some parts were pretty hysterical... i'm glad i went.

tonight i went to see shapes and sizes at sneaky dee's, but they ended up being cancelled... the castanets were headlining and actually they are pretty wonderful live. i hadn't heard much of them before going, but i liked what i heard. i went with mike, and we ran into andrew from first year, we all lived in vanier residence together! haha those were the days... it was actually my second andrew run-in in a week!

well i need to hit the sack. i gotta work early at sbux.

the wait is finally over...

2007-03-24T00:36:00.000-04:00

that's right folks. it came. i have officially been rejected from nscad.

lastnight

2007-03-22T23:53:00.000-04:00

mike came over and we watched me, you and everyone we know. i liked it. it was weird, and hilarious. just what i needed.

today i spent creating the invite to the funeral, getting things printed and then headed to work for 3pm. it was nice not to open for a change. it would've been nicer if the day had've been migraine free...

tonight was amanda's opening of threadbare at niagara gallery. it was amazing to see everyone in the space, excited about her work. and she looked so cute in the outfit we picked out. chuck and i made a few videos that kept us laughing hysterically the entire evening. i kept bugging tommy that the fruit dip was made out of marshmallows. and kevin was there...

after everything was over, we all headed to java house for cheap eats and drinks.

all in all, a fabulous evening. now i'm hittin' the sack.

funeral

2007-03-22T12:42:00.000-04:00

2007-03-21T23:19:00.000-04:00

i resent having to censor every single thing i write.

what happened to freedom of speech?

2007-03-21T20:56:00.000-04:00

there's nothing i hate more in the entire world than flaky people... nothing.

i feel like i am on the brink of a nervous breakdown. every aspect of my life seems to be falling apart and i'm not sure how to fit it back together. today was an ultra bad day but i don't have the energy to elaborate...

michael called me as i was on my way home. i love how he can always make me feel a zillion times better. he's heading over now to chill and watch a movie. tonight is definitely a prime movie night... and this time, i think we'll actually watch a movie.

no, i'm not a painter...

2007-03-19T10:25:00.000-04:00

i hate that assumption... not that i have anything against painters. but, you know. i get tired of having to justify what i do to people. i think i'm just tired in general.

i can't wait until tomorrow... i'm skipping work and installing amanda's show at niagara gallery. at this point, i'll do anything not to have to come to work.

today i slept through my alarm for an hour. oops. i guess i really needed the extra little bit.

the contractor tells me i look tired. its bad when you look like stress has consumed your life. to be honest, i am so exhausted that i could sleep for about 5 days straight.

thats all.

2007-03-18T20:17:00.001-04:00

for the record: facebook is creepy

the weekend of purging

2007-03-18T16:36:00.000-04:00

it started yesterday, when i started going through my closet and today spreaded to the rest of my house. i'm in a throwing out/donating to vv mood. things must go, i'm trying to eliminate crap i don't care about. get rid of the things i no longer wear. filling empty suitcases with my belongings. organizing, compartmentalizing. it feels good.

yesterday was st. patrick's day and the city was full of incredibly drunk people. amanda and i went out for dinner to java house, then i headed home to spend the evening with mike, mikee and heather. i made vegan banana bread for us to nibble on and we sat and told stories, laughing 'til our guts hurt. i love those guys, to the max. its nice to hang out with the old crew again...

heather and i woke up early, ate left over banana bread for breakfast and then headed grocery shopping. on the way home from getting groceries i ran into mego at dundas w. station. i think i've seen megan and shay a lot in the past week or so... its nice living so close. i can't wait til it gets a bit warmer and we can bike ride together...

i think i should head back to my torn apart house and start putting things back together. its going to look so much better when i'm finished. i already feel a million times better.

love m.

time the first

2007-03-17T01:47:00.000-04:00

tonight russell, amanda, brenna, erin and i went to dance cave for the first time... it was pretty hilarious, especially since russell is a mad dancer. AND it was nice to be in an atmosphere where i didn't think i was going to be raped by some creepo. i think i'd go back.

anyways, i am off to sleep.

kisses.

counter

2007-03-16T11:42:00.000-04:00

so the maintenance guys are here installing the store's new counter. too bad they're a year too late. the joke's on york this time...

hot dogs

2007-03-16T09:48:00.000-04:00

an older man with the biggest package of hot dogs i've ever seen just came into the store. i wish i had a camera, it was the weirdest thing i've seen today... amanda and chuck would have loved it!

lastnight i went to the opening of liz magor at susan hobbs. there was some fantastic work! i loved it. you should check it out.

yesterday just as i was about to close the store, chuck stopped by with an old bolex and so we hung out being nerds who are into old cameras. i learned how to load a film camera, and learned a bit about shooting on film. man, i really want to start shooting film instead of video. i DO have a super 8 camera and projector, so i should probably experiment. film is so amazing...

today is amanda's birthday. happy b-day mander!

my job at rts stuff is coming to a close (thank god). the only downfall is the loss of the pay cheque. but god is good. things have been falling into my lap over the past few days. i just got an e-mail from melissa asking me if i wanted to do some promo work on weekends. i'm gonna try to pick up some more hours at starbucks, so losing my job won't be so bad in the end (i hope).

i need to find someone to move in with me for the summer, because i can't afford my apartment anymore. so if you're looking for a roomate in the city...

still no word on nscad or guelph which is making me slightly crazy. i just wish i knew how to plan for the fall... its making me totally stressed out.

mikee has been stopping by recently, which is cool. its nice to catch up with that guy...

anyways, i think that's all for now.

love m.

waiting for the call...

2007-03-14T13:53:00.000-04:00

today is the first day that nscad will be calling potential mfa's with offers.

will i get the call, or will i get the letter?

i feel like i'm gonna throw up...

HOT...NEW...VIDEO...ART...

2007-03-13T19:54:00.000-04:00

come to the screening. i'd like you to see my art...

2007-03-13T00:40:00.000-04:00

i feel like i should blog, although i don't really know what to say...

tonight i went to the cameron house with kristie to see her cousin jenn grant play. i had heard that she was good, and i instantly fell in love with her e.p. but her voice is exquisite live. as i sat and listened, her voice just made me long for halifax...i could have cried my eyes out. i am dying to know about nscad. (jenn grant is from halifax and just graduated from nscad, so kristie says)

loads of things have been happening. last week excalibur got wind of that fact that rts stuff will most likely have to shut down... here's the link to the article, in case you want to know what's been happening in my losing battle.

http://www.excal.on.ca/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=3217&Itemid=2

life at work (york) has become almost unbearable. i cried on both monday and friday of last week, with the major breakdown power cry-fest happening on friday. i just can't handle it anymore... its hard to have no one on your side. and no money.

i'm on the waiting list for university of guelph's mfa program... still no word from nscad (which is making me die a little inside).

musically, i'm really into the arcade fire's new album neon bible. i think it beats funeral any day.

okay. its really late and i need to hit the sack.

love m.

according to now magazine

2007-03-01T13:11:00.000-05:00

SCORPIO Oct 23|Nov 21 (for the week of March 1)

As I contemplate the growing wonder of your animal magnetism, my urge to spout poetry is uncontrollable. You're like a dancing heron or a singing tiger or a snake spelling out words by assuming different letter-shaped poses. You're a crazy-mirrored funhouse full of tool-using ravens. You're a convention of laughing hyenas partying at a watering hole on the other side of the tracks from paradise. In short, you're as impossible to predict as a drunk hummingbird, as dangerously smart as a shape-shifting fox from Japanese mythology.

this is unbelievable...

polaroids and michael (not together, but separate)

2007-03-01T08:55:00.000-05:00

last night i took some polaroids. before that i hadn't taken a photograph since christmas(ish) time. it was so liberating, it made me feel a little more alive. i need to get some film for my new polaroid land camera.

lastnight michael came over. it was so good to see him. its ridiculous that we never make more time for each other, considering as we are practically next door neighbours. i like mike a lot. he's super and genuine, and we can just sit and talk forever. i like that about him. he fills the little mike sized spot in my heart.

okay, its time to open the store...

come to this!

2007-02-28T15:06:00.000-05:00

art star

2007-02-28T14:49:00.000-05:00

i just ran into alia. apparently my piece how to dance to monk is being shown in the artist and the modern museum class at york.

alia says i'm an art star.

i say, "colin campbell, i'm on my way to joining you."

love m.

wake up sleepy head

2007-02-28T10:31:00.000-05:00

this morning it was almost impossible to drag myself out of bed. i slept through my alarm for over an hour...

since i was bound to be late for work, i decided to hit sbux before work. kerry was working and since i showed respect for my fellow partner (by showing my partner card) i got a free latte. today is off to a good start.

i think wednesdays are generally my favourite day of the week. i work with amanda, its payday... wednesdays are generally feel good days.

lastnight i had to close at sbux. i had the worst stomach pain in the world, and had to do star shines. worst. combo. ever. i ended up caving and splurging on a $6.99 bottle of advil to dull the pain. i've realized, that when i get stressed my stomach muscles contract and won't release causing some serious pain... ibuprofin saves the day again.

lastnight i got to work with russell and joanne. i never ever work with russell, so i was pretty excited. he's one of my favourites. when i was on my 15, russell came into the back room to get ready to go home. then, it happened. you see, russell does this thing where he always pretends to kiss me as he's leaving. and, well, i mean he actually kisses me, but its usually on the cheek. but this time, things were different. this time, he full on kissed me on the mouth. awkward.

anyways... i am off. time to work. and stuff.

to york, with love

2007-02-27T14:48:00.000-05:00

this has been my song for the past few days.

take my money and run by cuff the duke

you think you understand how really broke i am
you sit behind your desk count every penny you own
you and your stupid smile i hope you both die
i have no money left no reason to try

take my money and run
take my money and run

i'm so sick and tired of all your bullshit
the rich get richer and the poor get treated like shit
i'd spare a dollar sir but i don't have a dime
i sit around town living off overdraft

take my money and run
take my money and run
go on, take it!

(you can hear this song: www.myspace.com/cuff the duker)

p.s.

2007-02-26T11:45:00.000-05:00

this weekend was amazing!

saturday i spent the day doing laundry, grocery shopping and making granola. then in the p.m. i went out with an old friend from high school named charlie. we went to see cuff the duke at the horseshoe and out for veggie chinese food.

it was nice to catch up. i hope to see more of him... its nice to be able to talk to someone familiar with where you grew up, someone you spent all of your time with, someone who knows your history... chuck went to humber for photography but never finished. now he's doing some highschool courses and hopes to go to u of t for zooology.

sunday shay and i hung out. we went on this crazy ttc extravaganza hoping to find the "ghost" station, which turns out is only lower bay station. its weird knowing that there is a station that is abandoned under another one. apparently there's a ton of old track that isn't used anymore... it makes you wonder what else is secretly hidden underground.

after the ttc we hit up kensington market and at 5 i headed to freedomize. holly met me at church and then after we headed to starbucks so she could pick up her last paycheque (she quit) and then i headed home.

i got cuff the duke's newest album... i like them a lot.

love m.

the nicest rejection letter ever

2007-02-26T11:41:00.000-05:00

so, i didn't make the final cut for university of guelph. i received probably the nicest rejection letter one could ever hope to receive. the director of the program asked for my permission to keep me on a waiting list, so essentially my acceptance hinges on the acceptance or rejection of their number one picks.

fingers still crossed for nscad...

m.

reflection on a week

2007-02-23T11:19:00.000-05:00

monday i got an e-mail from the yfs (york federation of students). they're not buying the store. they say their lawyer says we're too much of a liability... this means we will most likely have to file for bankruptcy. this means no more art store for the students. this means i no longer will have a job.

tuesday bethany and i went to speak with the president of yfs. she was very nonchalant as she spoke to us and didn't seem to care. beth was being pretty sassy, as she should have been. yfs strung us along for an entire year. an entire year of now broken promises. then corri pulled the "if you help us in our referendum to get our levy increased, then we'll help you out". i didn't speak, because i knew it would be bad if i opened my mouth.

wednesday amanda and i had a good solid chat while at work. then i went home and worked on my letter for modern fuel. i've applied to be the director of the gallery. it would be the most amazing position, only down side is that i'd be leaving the city.

thursday bethany and i met with the dean of fine arts at 9am. he basically hinted that we could potentially have our credit damaged by this situation, now that we run this joint. bad news bears. he also said that if we are able to go bankrupt and close down the store, then he will try to get another store t move in. like a curry's or sometihng... later on i sent an e-mail out to my board to say that we need to have a meeting. then jamie walks in and starts telling me we shouldn't give up and that we shouldn't hop on the bankruptcy and all this crap. then i flipped out. screaming and flailing my arms. screaming at jamie about how no one cares and i have no support and how i don't care anymore and this place can just shut down because i am sick of fighting. fighting for nothing. then the construction men came by with our new canvas rollers. they look pretty...only they didn't make them the right size. so much for that. and the carpenter said they never got the drawings for the desk. i like how this stuff was supposed to be made in september and now we're getting it and the store is probably going to have to shut down.

nick came by and helped the end of the day pass quickly. he invited me to the curatorial talk he's moderating on monday night at gallery 1313 (you should come 7-9pm). then i talked to charlie on msn and i think we're going to meet up on saturday and attempt to get tickets to cuff the duke at the horseshoe (why didn't i get tickets forever ago?)

after work amanda and i met up with laura and kristie and headed to the absinthe pub for dinner. what a day!

friday nothing too crazy has happened thus far, meaning i haven't ripped anyone's head off. yet...

the end.

open house

2007-02-19T16:37:00.000-05:00

this is an image from susan dobson's open house series. it's stellar.

check her out. i think her work is worth looking at.

http://www.susandobson.com/

love m.

today i bought the coat of my dreams...

2007-02-15T19:01:00.000-05:00

only in black...

no more knocker

2007-02-14T16:49:00.000-05:00

some wise guy stole tiff's knocker...

now the store is knockerless.

a brief expaination of things unexpressable

2007-02-12T21:55:00.000-05:00

i'm in kingston. it's much colder here and there's a ton of snow... but i like the snow.

(i think this is going to be a weird post)

god is working on my petit frere (i don't know have to type french accenty thingys) and music has more power than we give it credit for... or more accurately that god uses it to change people's lives.

i'm realizing how god has accurately planned my steps, and that the people i've met and the things i've been exposed to have directly or indirectly changed me and the people i come in contact with.

i'm realizing the power of prayer. i'm realizing the importance of not giving up.

i feel a list of thank-you's is in order:

- to god who loves me no matter how much i doubt him. for answering my prayers.
- to my parents who relentlessly pray for my family and friends.
- to amanda m.
- to underoath.

the end.

short listed

2007-02-08T21:10:00.000-05:00

so i made the short list for guelph's mfa program. i had my interview lastnight and i'm really not sure how i did.

one sign that it wasn't going so well:

james: "so what have you been reading lately?"
me: "well... to be honest... the chronicles of narnia..."
james: "um, so what else are you reading?"
me: "radical gestures by jayne wark and the photograph as contemporary art"

i guess narnia just doesn't cut it when it comes to an mfa program...

call number one

2007-02-06T16:08:00.000-05:00

james carl from guelph called me today. i have a phone interview tomorrow night at 9pm for their mfa program, which is amazing!

fingers crossed.

beware:

2007-01-29T15:59:00.000-05:00

the internet can be dangerous.

crash

2007-01-28T16:05:00.000-05:00

so on friday, my laptop crashed. lame.

right now i'm sitting in the apple store hoping to be squeezed into the list to be seen by a "genius" at the genius bar. what a joke.. sometimes i loathe apple.

lastnight was sloan. and let me just say, it was so good. i loooooove them. to the maximum extreme. basically. and chris murphy was lookin sooooooooo sexy.

okay. i am off.

love.

week of mostly good (version 2.0)

2007-01-25T16:43:00.000-05:00

so this week has been eventful... i ran into philip on the bus on my way to york on monday morning. he gave me one of the new agyu newsletters, and gave me a brief overview of the preparation for the matthew brannon exhibition.

yesterday i attended a curatorial debate between bruce ferguson (from the AGO) and philip monk (agyu). the ROM was supposed to be there, but the woman (i forget her name) was unable to attend because of an emergency meeting (something to do with architects from europe). even though she was absent, the debate was quite compelling... the ago and the agyu don't see eye to eye... and i think ferguson is slightly upset because of the article monk wrote about cronenberg's warhol show at the ago in the recent issue of canadian art. the article is definately worth reading. a solid critique, in my opinion. completely valid. it was also really nice to hear philip talk about the new agyu 'out there'. i really think he and emelie are the best thing that could have happend to that place.

after the lecture i popped into the agyu to see if shay was there and ran into emelie... she told me they could use a hand with installation. so i told her i'd let her know. she also introduced me to matthew, but it wasn't until i started walking away that i realized he was matthew brannon, the artist. he's much younger than i expected...

today i opened the store with bethany, then headed to the agyu to give a hand with installation. its incredible the amount of work that goes into making a major show come together. its been nice to get this experience.

i came back to work at 2pm, after eating probably the worst pizza ever for lunch. we all just laughed about how horrible it was...

tonight is robert bean's opening at prefix, which i am very excited about. then tomorrow i work at the store, and at 3pm i head to the agyu to help out again. then its starbucks in the p.m.

saturday is my day off! i'll probably laze around a bit (since i'm sick) and then head to some galleries and stuff in the aft. then in the p.m. sloan is playing a free show at nathan phillips square, which i am pumped for. i heart sloan. yeah. rocking it old school...

love m.

i'm sick...

2007-01-24T18:02:00.001-05:00

...again.

rediscover

2007-01-18T09:38:00.000-05:00

on tuesday i rediscovered my love for cuff the duke. i can't get enough of their album life stories for minimum wage.

they're having a re-release party for that album at the horseshoe on february 24th!

prayer request

2007-01-16T16:11:00.000-05:00

today i found out that nina has gone on permenant sick leave as of today... apparently its something to do with her eyesight, which really sucks. that secretly is my biggest fear, that something will happen to my eyesight. my grandma went blind...

if you could keep her in your prayers, that would be really fantastic. i'm pretty upset... it seems so unfair, and so terrifying. being a visual artist, i can't even imagine dealing with it...

since beka wanted to see inside...

2007-01-16T09:40:00.000-05:00

here is some of my work. i couldn't post a bunch of it because its either audio or video/animations, which is a bummer. but here are three of my pieces... for three views you can click on the image to see the sewn detail in each one (its hard to see when the images are that small).

collection (part one)

2007-01-16T09:36:00.000-05:00

three views: lynda, meaghan, megarrah

2007-01-16T09:32:00.000-05:00

portfolio - dialogue

2007-01-16T09:17:00.000-05:00

this is what it looked like

2007-01-12T13:36:00.000-05:00

my portfolio (from the outside)

done

2007-01-10T16:29:00.000-05:00

they're done! finally, after all that writing, rewriting, documenting, editing, ripping, burning, cutting and pasting, my grad applications are complete. i mailed them this morning... (insert a giant sigh of relief). my package for guelph should be there tomorrow, and my nscad package will arrive on friday.

this has been a gruelling process, but i've learned a ton about myself and my work... so even if i am rejected, it wasn't all for nothing.

i made thank you gifts for nina and jennifer for being so supportive and writing me lovely reccomendation letters. i gave jennifer the dancing video, and nina a button print. they both LOVED them. i'm happy...

i'm at work, and i'm exhausted. i have two openings tonight after work - chalene's then tiff's. free food = not having to cook dinner.

i really want to call home. its been forever since i've talked to my family... if i don't work at the bux this weekend, i am going home for sure.

okay. that's all. (sorry this is a lazy blog, i'm just too tired to think)

i am so close to being finished grad applications...

2007-01-09T14:25:00.000-05:00

tomorrow they start their journey to halifax, ns and guelph, on.

let's pray nothing goes wrong.

i'm tired.

that's all...

m.

scramble

2007-01-05T17:34:00.000-05:00

so this weekend is my final chance to whip my grad school applications together... i'm applying to do my MFA at both NSCAD U and Guelph.

i'll post more later, when i don't have to pee.

love m.

so this is the new year

2007-01-01T18:24:00.000-05:00

lastnight i hopped on the greyhound and travelled back to this city i call home... it was a nice, short trip. i like it when the bus is dark; its easier to sleep.

i ended up going to anne and joel's new year's party, which ended up being a really good time. it was nice to have a bunch of my favourite friends all under one roof. jay wood showed up, which was wild. i haven't seen that guy in years (literally). kat, mego and shay ended up coming too, which was super fun. i love those guys! and it was nice to see t before he headed back to halifax.

today i woke up at 8am, which sort of sucked considering i went to bed at 3(ish). i started to work on my nscad application but i didn't get that much done... i am so stumped. i honestly don't know what to write. sometimes writing is so difficult! i did make some calls and i think i have figured out a solution to my documentation problem. amanda and i are going to install my work in the winter's gallery early saturday morning so i can photograph it (photographing photographs seems so silly) and put together my images for the application. i'm seriously cutting it close! i'm totally going to have to fedex my package...

i just got my tips at starbucks and they almost fully pay for my application to nscad! hurray for working christmas hours. i think i'm going to try to pick up more hours here. i like working at sbux and i could really use the extra cash.

well, i best be off. i think i am going to head home and watch a movie. little miss sunshine, perhaps.

happy new year friends.

love m.

homeward bound

2006-12-31T17:28:00.001-05:00

toronto, here i come...

a change of plans

2006-12-30T18:25:00.000-05:00

sometimes things just aren't what you expect, and i think that that aptly describes my trip to meaford.

right now i type from my brother's house in barrie... meaford got the best of me. i needed to escape. i mean, its not that i don't like colleen, but i think that this was really bad timing for a visit. i did get to help her plan and pull off her youth amazing race/new year's thing, which was really fun. but i think colleen needs to spend time with her soon leaving friends... i secretly think that's what she wanted to do and felt bad because she felt that i wouldn't have any fun. and i won't lie, it's hard to be the only one who doesn't understand why everyone else is so mopy and sad over pastor ted and his family leaving. i don't know the guy. so although seeing colleen was fun for the most part, the awkward meter was pointing toward the high end of the awkward scale.

this morning i woke up, feeling completely overwhelmed. my mind was working overtime. i feet stressed out about my unfinished nscad application... i had the most stressful dream i've ever had in my entire life, and so woke up feeling even more paniced. i've had a migraine for 3 days and i couldn't handle any more of the old man's loud tv. and today was one of those days where you just feel sad and depressed. the kind of day when you just want to sit and cry your eyes out for no apparent reason. today was off to a rough start even before i got out of bed.

i went to curves to meet colleen (she works there too, since she's only part time at the church right now) and brought her a coffee. then my mom called. i thought i was going to start crying my eyes out in the lobby of curves, as women dragged themselves inside past me to go and work out. i just wanted so badly to escape... dad called rob, and so rob loaded emmett, owen and deborah in the van, and drove to get me. colleen was cool with everything. i think she understood; she's good like that. we both ate lunch, then she drove me to collingwood where i met rob and the gang. i was kind of sad to leave colleen, but felt relieved at the same time. relieved of the awk.

for the record:
- emmett is still hilarious, and eats clemintines like there's no tomorrow.
- jessie the (gigantic) dalmation still thinks she's a lap cat and tries to sit on my lap.

tomorrow i think mom and dad are coming to visit... it will be nice to see them. i miss home already, and i've only been gone since wednesday.

i still don't know what to do for new year's eve. anne and joel keep text messaging/calling me about their party. i may make the trek back to toronto tomorrow evening so i can check out their shin dig. but if mom, dad and brock do end up in barrie, then i may stay here with the fam. i also have been invited to heather's place in etobicoke with amanda and chuck. i guess we'll see what tomorrow brings...

that's it for now.

love m.

greetings from meaford

2006-12-29T14:18:00.000-05:00

well, i'm here. meaford, ontario. home of the beautiful joe. joe, as i am told, is a dog. a dog with no ears or a tail because he was beaten by someone. then some lady took him in and wrote a book about it and won prizes. so now meaford is the home of the beautiful joe.

things about meaford:

- it's half an hour away from collingwood, and about twenty minutes away from owen sound.
- the town is so small you can walk it from end to end in probably half an hour.
- there isn't a strabucks, but there is a killer organic coffee shop called the harvest cafe that has amazing coffee and delish food.
- meaford is on georgian bay; its water is teal!
- it's bloody cold here

colleen lives in the basement of a house that an elderly couple from her church own. they have dogs... (need i say more?)

i'm actually glad i came here. its been nice to see colleen, even though it took us nine hours to get here. i've been helping colleen plan/organize her pre-new year's amazing race for her youth group. it's weird having the other staff members at the church refer to her as "pastor colleen". it threw me off when the secretary asked me if i was here helping pastor colleen... hahaha

i'm looking forward to tonight. i get to make the youth have a dance off. i won't let them go on until they bust out their best dance move (which is secretly the best duty ever).

okay. i should go... i need to do some more junk for colleen.

love m.

upcoming travels

2006-12-26T22:52:00.000-05:00

my christmas holiday with the fam is coming to a close. tomorrow morning at 11am, colleen and i are packing ourselves and all of our christmas stuff into her car and driving. driving forever. forever until we reach our destination: meaford, ontario.

i must admit i'm not thrilled about going. it's not that i don't want to go, or that i don't want to spend time with colleen, but i really wish i got to spend a longer amount of time with my family. i feel like i just got here and i have to leave already. sigh. i love my family.

secretly, i wish i could spend new year's eve in toronto at anne and joel's. i got the most hilarious message from anne the other day, which made me want to go even more than when tom told me about it... i'm trying to convince colleen to go. it would be so amazing if she would. but you see, her pastor had to go and ruin all the fun by resigning. sunday is his last day... and i feel bad for colleen. it sucks for her. and i know she's emotional and i am actually really glad to be able to be there for her, with her, in the middle of nowhere during such a sucky series of days. but then there's that selfish part of me that wants to get out and see people i haven't seen in a very, very long time. but i made a promise, and i will stick to my word. so tomorrow we will jam ourselves into that red honda civic and drive west to toronto, then north until we reach the middle of nowhere.

love m.

happy christmas

2006-12-25T18:44:00.000-05:00

another christmas has come and gone. as the day winds to a close, i look back in awe. not one family fight this christmas! this is one to go down in the record books for sure. i mean, its not that my family hates each other. no, no, no, that's not it at all. but usually someone says something stupid, offending someone else. then the trouble starts, and it's a domino affect from there. but not this chrtistmas. this one was perfect (thus far).

i honestly have to say, i had the most enjoyable christmas i've ever had in a long long time. today was spend relaxing with the fam, opening gifts and enjoying each other's company. we listened to stuart maclean's vinyl cafe christmas stories on cd and laughed our butts off. then meaghan, brock and i watched little miss sunshine together, and laughed some more. and i was spoiled with some amazing gifts, like an external dvd writer that came with toast, a sufjan stevens t-shirt that says "come on feel the illinoise" and a plethorah of black socks (which are seriously needed since the "law of the wash" has left me with many missing socks).

christmas dinner was traditional, as always, leaving me feeling seriously stuffed...

the only thing missing this year was grandma. grandma and grandpa spent every single christmas at our house... and when grandpa died, grandma came faithfully...until this year, she did the unthinkable. she ditched us for uncle sonny and aunt vera. at first i was upset, but i know why she went. my uncle donald's wife passed away this year and he wouldn't go to sonny and vera's for christmas unless grandma went. and since grandma felt bad, she gave up her favorite grandkids and went. i guess at 93 you still put aside your own desires out of love for your kids. my grandma is amazing.

yesterday was christmas eve. my family was contemplating ditching church (my dad got called to an emergency job so he was working) when brock called and asked when we were picking him up for church. my mom jumped up faster than anyone i know and was like "we have to get ready!" (brock doesn't go to church anymore) the service was really nice. very untraditional and laid back. then after church i had dinner with the fam, and then met up with colleen to swap gifts. she gave me this cool magnetic poetry calendar... secretly its so cool.

anyways, i think i'm done here. i hear it's coffee time upstairs.

have a happy christmas everyone! (and much much love)

m.

hiding

2006-12-23T21:11:00.000-05:00

i've escaped to the freezing cold office from the group of cackling old people, also known as my aunts and uncles. it's that time again: the family christmas party. not that i don't like my family, but things can get a little crazy. brock and will already ditched me...

rob, deborah, emmett and owen left to head back to barrie today. i was sad to see them go... emmett is SO funny. he's talking a lot more, and he says the funniest things. he's at that age when they repeat everything (which can be a bad thing at times). i'll post some pictures of emmett tomorrow.

oh. i think people are beginning to leave...

i just got my recommendation letter from nina. its kind of weird to read nice things about me...and about me as an artist, about my artwork. i had no idea... i think i'm going to apply to a few different schools, just in case. i am thinking: u of t (master of visual studies), guelph (mfa), concordia (mfa in open media or photography) as well as nscad. i want nscad so badly though...

today i went to get a manicure and pedicure with my sister meaghan. talk about a weird experience... i think someone should document nail salons, because they are seriously bizarre.

tomorrow is christmas eve. it seriously doesn't feel like christmas... at least bronco will come out to the house and hang out with me tomorrow.

love m.

i'm dreaming of a white christmas

2006-12-21T14:18:00.000-05:00

oh bing, where would i be without you?

(i have a secret obsession with bing crosby) christmas would not be the same without him... i just found out that this christmas song i love is sung by david bowie AND bing crosby! whaaaaat?! basically, best thing ever.

i really can't believe this weather! i can't even believe it will be christmas in 4 days, because its usually colder than this on my birthday!!! i'm hoping for snow on christmas eve. i still remember one christmas eve, we were all ready to go to the candle light service at church, but it was snowing so hard that we decided to stay home... i still remember running around outside, and shovelling the driveway with brock as snow fluttered down all around me. there's just something so romantic about snow on christmas eve. i fear that last year was our final white christmas...

right now i'm sitting in kingston's newest starbucks. this is an absolutely beautiful store... if sarah could only see it, she'd probably freak out. there's so much space! EVERYWHERE! there is so much room, i think we could have a dance party for sure. and they have a refridgerated dispenser machine for frap! isn't that insane?! the speed of service here is really slow. if bay and cumberland were this slow, no one would come back. i guess that's the difference between kingston and toronto. people here are in less of a rush.

yesterday colleen picked me up and brought me home. i am so glad she drove me... it's nice to be back. AND i love my cat.

this morning i went to visit grandma. she was making rice crispy squares when i walked in. a whole bunch of them. apparently yesterday she made a whole wackload of turnip, seven or something like that. i hope i'm as crazy ambitious as her when i'm 93.

nothing is really new with me. except brock keeps calling my mom on my cell phone, and telling me that i can't be around while he talks to her. as colleen says "christmas is full of secrets and lies. i love it!" haha

well, i think i'd better bust outta here. do something productive. like make pizza for dinner.

love m.

woah!

2006-12-20T09:39:00.000-05:00

what a RUSH!!

today is my last morning at starbucks. le sigh. i hate that. i love the morning rush. only today seemed extra busy.

today i go home for christmas. colleen is picking me up at 12:30. awesome! only like 3 hours to go.

this week has been a good one. creative breaky on monday morning... then monday night tom and rob came over to work on a special little something for chirstmas.

lastnight megan and shay had t and i over for dinner. mmmm i don't even like mushrooms but i liked the lasagna. it was killa. and shay's barf looking salad dressing (as he called it) actually was really good! then tom brought some wacky lemon poppyseed looking cake that tasted like amoretto... it was delish. good food and good company always make for a good time. mmmmmm yes. i heart mego and shay. they always are a party.

today has been busy with starbucks. i love working here. i wish i could just do it full time. its so much better that the store.

i can't wait to get home! i am DYING to get home. emmett, owen and deborah are coming today too (or so i am told) which is always a party. emmett is SO fun. and SO cute. i home he runs up and down the halls roaring again...

anyways, i best jet. finish my peppermint mocha and get back to work.

love m

i've been lazy

2006-12-16T20:06:00.000-05:00

i flew into pearson international airport bright and early tuesday morning and was welcomed back by a mob of seemingly angry commuters on their way to work...or something. getting pushed everywhere i walked was not my ideal way to be greeted back to the city i call home. i got home and slept from 3pm til 7:30am the next morning. talk about sleep catch-up.

this week has been busy. tuesday i cleaned my house, bought groceries and prepared for my art party on wednesday night.

wednesday came quickly, and i worked the entire day. after work i raced home to bake cookies for my party and to finish my costume. i went as philip monk. not my favourite artist, but i knew i'd get a reaction. then, the phone calls came. cancellations. last minute crisis'. it was okay though, i still had a solid turnout. beth came as sister wendy the art nun. and amanda came as joyce weiland. and chuck had the best costume. he came as michael davey hahahahaha

thursday i spent the day...um...i don't even remember.

friday i worked all day. then went to see alexisonfire at the pheonix. which was amazing... i was in the pit, before the show started. but as soon as aof started to play, it only took 10 seconds before i was knocked down, engulfed by the crowd and being trampled. i latched onto someone's lower torso. some guy grabbed me and after 3 attempts was able to free me from the floor. as soon as i was on my feet i high tailed it to the back, where i found myself standing beside will and megan (on my left) and brock and dan (on my right). we all vacated the scene. i had a good time in the back. i danced like a maniac... mmmm so good. i have some solid bruises from the trampling though.

after aof, i went home and showered, then accidentally fell asleep. i woke up and raced for the door, and as i was grabbing my coat tom called to ask where i was. i was supposed to meet him for the acorn/elliot brood show at lee's palace. oops. i got there in 10 minutes though... the acorn were amazing. elliot was good too. dancable. i heart banjos.

today was a lazy day. i slept in til 11am, then made coffee in my new red kitchen aid coffee maker, had an omlette, and eased into the day. i decided to work on my grad app. the letter. so stressful. i felt completely overwhelmed at first... but then i just immersed myself in notes from nscad meetings, read some theory and seriously thought about my work. i managed to write a really rough draft to send to jennifer. i had this feeling in my gut that i needed to send it today. good thing i did. jennifer sent me a response saying that she was out of town til after christmas, so she was sending me the response now. *pheuf

anyways, i am at work and i am done my break so i must go.

tomorrow is amanda's family carol sing! woo hoo.

xoxo megarrah

farewell

2006-12-12T04:42:00.000-05:00

right now i'm sitting, waiting in the halifax international airport to head back to my busy life in toronto. halifax has been a nice break from the insanity. i'm actually quite sad to leave... hopefully i'll be back here in a few months.

yesterday i had more meetings with nscad faculty. i spoke with wilma needham, alvin comiter, and bob bean. i also got a solid tour of the photo facilities which left a much better impression than my initial student-given tour on friday. my meeting with bob was immensely enjoyable! it was so nice to chat with him... i want so much to study under him. and its so obvious why he is friends with jennifer fisher. bob told me the sorts of things that would fly in an application package, and gave me tips on what to say in my letter. all in all, it was an extremely valuable chat.

after my meetings i was invited to nam's, an mfa painter from vancouver, studio. he's nice...but slightly awkward. painters can be like that.

tom finally finished his video projet! i'm glad i was able to help him out a bit.

lastnight i got to meet tom's friend sophie and her boyfriend ryan. they both are so great! i really hope i end up in halifax next year... i think i could have a lot of good times with these people.

well... i really should scoot. i need to board my flight in a few seconds. but before doing so, i need to write something that probably won't make any sense to anyone at all, but to me it makes me crack up every time i think about it.

"i'm not trying to hit them, i'm trying to get them." (tom)

okay. have a good tuesday everyone.

love megarrah

morning stretches

2006-12-11T08:39:00.001-05:00

i just woke up. and without anyone waking me up... the house is quiet, minus 'cinderblocks' stomping around upsteairs. tom's alarm just went off. i think people are waking up...

so today is my last day in halifax, which makes me feel sad. i realized it when i woke up... today there is so much to be done. i have to find my parents a cheezy lighthouse and i have meetings with 5 faculty from nscad. today i get to meet with bob bean, which is exciting!

yesterday i went to saint george's round anglican church with tom. its his new one... it was nice. a nice change. minus the kneeling bench that i was pretty sure would rip my kneecaps off. i had a hard time keeping up, flipping back and forth between the prayer and the song book. but all in all, a beautiful service. it gave me chills sometimes...

after the service there was a potluck, which was an awesome surprise! its nice to eat food you don't have to think about. i met some of tom's friends, and a lot of nice old people talked to me.

lastnight i had a cryfest. i guess a lot of things have been building up, but you don't have time to deal with them in toronto. this place really causes you to pause and reflect... i guess i just exploded. i feel a lot better today. i feel refreshed. tom is a good listener... i'm blessed to know him.

yesterday i also baked cookies. nestle toll house chocolate chip, the only ones worth eating.

as of today, life is going to be busy. i fly back to toronto tomorrow morning, bright and early. wednesday i work starbs all day, then its my art party at night. thursday i have the entire day off. friday i work at starbucks, then see alexisonfire at night with brock and holly. then after that show, a wicked band called the acorns is playing at lee's palace that tom is going to. i think i'll try to catch that show too, since aof is an early one. saturday and sunday i work at sbux, then sunday night i head to etobicoke to amanda's family's christmas carol sing. hahaha. so good...

well, i think i should scoot. i need to get ready for my day... i need coffee pronto!!

love m

nscad fashion

2006-12-10T19:59:00.000-05:00

yesterday seeds gallery had a nscad fashion sale on. i got a wicked tube top/dress/skirt and a wicked flower broach! yay for fun stuff.

the unfair

2006-12-10T18:52:00.000-05:00

on friday night, tom and i attended nscad's unfair: a carnival themed party to raise money for seeds, a student gallery. so basically, you purchased tickets from the banker's booth and you could do anything from witnessing a peep show, to divination, to getting your hair cut, to having your polariod taken. tom and i decided to have our polaroid taken...but the catch was that you had to incorporate a hammer into the photograph. i think we did a pretty good job.

then we played another game, where the objective was to toss pennies into different coloured cups. each colour represented a different monetary value of student debt... and if you were able to accumulate at least $25,000 in student debt, you won a fun nscad-made pillow. tom got his pennies in. i did not. but he let me keep the pillow.

tom and i somehow ended up bartending, which was my first experience pumping a keg. then things started to get rowdy. someone broke a window, which sucked because the venue was so old and beautiful (tom took the picture).

then there was the ping-pong room... tom and some guy from russia(?) played ping-pong for a while. i took pictures. i like this one the best, its so white!! the room had this incredibly insane loop of beats...only it was the most irritating noise i've ever heard in my entire life! haha i tried to make a movie to capture the audio, but my memory card was full *sniffle. too bad because i so would have loved to show people.

just before tom and i decided to leave, some creepo asked this girl jodie if she would do him... what a weirdo. tom told the guy his name and asked for the creeps name in return. he told him that his name was tom tom. hahaha then he turned and asked me if i liked tom tom. i just shook my head no, because he totally freaked me out. finally tom got rid of him, and we decided to leave before things got crazier. as tom and i were walking out the door, some guy grabbed/clawed at my arm, saying "reeeeeaaaaaaarrrrrrr". hahaha it was classic.

my halifax (living) room

2006-12-08T10:24:00.000-05:00

tom created a little room for me, which was really sweet of him. its nice to feel like people won't be creepishly watching me as i sleep.

thanks t.

milk in halifax

2006-12-08T08:15:00.000-05:00

comes in a tetra pack! how WACKY is that?

greetings from halifax

2006-12-07T18:01:00.000-05:00

(right now i'm sneakishly using the mac lab at nscad while tom is in a meeting.)

this morning i woke up bright and early to embark on my halifax adventure. when i stepped onto the plane, i felt a surge of terror and excitement rush through my body. this morning i'd never been on a plane, and never seen an ocean! now i've done both.

nscad is better than i ever would have imagined it. its honestly amazing. everyone here is so warm and inviting... this is my dream home.

i went to tom's print class today and ended up having a coughing fit during this girl's presentation. i almost died because i couldn't stop choking. so i ran into the hallway where some sweet, yet alarmed, student asked me if i was okay, and all i could choke out was "yes. something in throat... where's the bathroom?!" as tears streamed down my face because of the choke action. ah, colds...

this afternoon i met bruce barber, the head of the mfa program. he gave me some tips on funding and stuff, and then we ran down the street together, in the pouring rain, to the grad studios. i actually got to hang out with a painter named daniel, who was originally from mississauga! he did his undergrad at emily carr. he gave me some tips on the program, which was exciting. i met a bunch of other mfa students while on the crawl through the studios. they tipped me off on some waesome stuff that was going to be happening, and told me of some cool places to check out. i'm excited about this trip... it's going to be a solid one.

after hanging out in the grad studios, i met with jan peacock... she gave me a lot of information on what they're looking for in a grad student, what they're looking for in the portfolio, and what they're looking for in the statement. she was SO nice. i really enjoyed chatting with her. now we'll just have to see if i can write the best letter they've ever seen, and put together the most solid package, that i will blow their minds and they won't be able to refuse me...

this city is quickly stealing my heart and i've been here for less than 12 hours!

tomorrow night is some crazy shin-dig at caiber (i don't think that's how its spelled) that tom and i are going to. the mfa students said that they'd see me there, which is cool. jan said she'd be there too! its absolutely crazy this place. there is a solid sense of community...something i think that york lacked.

okay. well i should probably go and look like i'm making art... you know... like everyone else in this lab.

love m

p.s. i hope to take loads of pictures to post sometime tomorrow.

p.p.s. here is my arrival picture. tom took it.

i love marcel dzama

2006-12-05T20:35:00.000-05:00

and i think that you should love him too.

almost there

2006-12-05T18:27:00.000-05:00

i have been horrible at blogging as of late, so here goes nothing.

my time at york (work) has been very very busy, but today was the last day before the holiday! hurray! i am so glad to be done...

t-minus 2 days til halifax.

last thursday night i went out for a beer with lise. i like her so much, she is fantastic. we talked about the grad school application process and she gave me her letter of intent that she used to get into york with. now i have something to go by...

on saturday night i went to a dolly parton themed party that jenny, rob and john from leeds, england had at their new downtown home. man, people from england know how to party! it was the best party i've ever been to in my entire life... kristie and i danced like maniacs. it was so good. beth and i stuffed our bras so full so we looked like we had dolly parton bazooms. haha so funny. here's a picture of us being crazy:

note to self: drinking and 3 hours of sleep don't go together very well... especially when you have to open at starbucks on sunday morning at 7:30am.

i had my review on sunday. i did well... yay for raises!

i saw rob on sunday night at church. he's so funny... he sais "so you're going to halifax to check out the school and to check out tom, right? i mean, check out the school and visit tom." my response was "of course, i'm going to check out tom." it was priceless. i love rob. he's great... i've missed him. we need a movie night.

ugh. i have a cold. my nose is running away...

today i got to reprint my large sewn photographs at york. katherine (photo prof) hooked me up so the tech would print them even though i'm not a student... it cost me $30 for 4 prints when one print at pikto would have cost me $90. i was totally blessed.

i can't wait to get to hailfax, i have so many questions... the only crappy thing is that i have SO MUCH to do before going... yikes-o-rama.

well its time to go home. i need to start getting stuff ready.

love megarrah

pre-christmas ramblings

2006-11-26T22:55:00.000-05:00

i've come to the realization that i have inherited my mother's 'cheezy christmas' gene. wednesday night i listened to christmas music while putting up my ultra-kitchy ceramic, light-up christmas tree that i bought at a garage sale this summer. secretly, it's so great.

this week i have been trying to figure out why people loathe christmas so much, beyond it being a time of over-consumption of just about everything, food, alcohol, shopping... i love christmas. i love giving. i love the build up to the big day. i love making christmas cards. i secretly adore christmas music (especially bing crosby's merry christmas album). christmas is a time for family to get excited about seeing each other, a time for punch and fruit cake (even though i hate it) and fireplaces. for singing christmas carols and going to candle light services. its all about searching for the perfect gift for your loved ones...i love the hunting. i actually jumped when i found the perfect gift for colleen yesterday. sometimes it just sneaks up on you.

but most importantly, its a time to remember the birth of jesus. i hate how sometimes people, myself included, forget the reason for celebrating christmas. this year, i'm trying hard not to lose focus.

i guess growing up in a house where my mom was (and still is) a christmas fanatic means that i was destined to be a christmas fanatic too. i don't know what it is, but christmas feels different this year. i'm excited already. mmmm yes.

home for the...

2006-11-24T16:35:00.000-05:00

i'm going home to kingston for the weekend, and oh, it will be sooooooooooooo good.

i can't wait to see morris (the cat)

love m.

p.s. sufjan steven's songs for christmas 5 cd box set is worth the $24.99 it costs. that is, if you looooooooooooove christmas music (like i do).

xo

priceless

2006-11-21T10:37:00.000-05:00

on sunday amanda invited me to her house for a ultra-spicy dinner of chili chuck was making. so at around 8pm, i started heading over to her place from york (where i was slugging away looking for files for the lawyer).

when i arrived at her apartment building, i opted for riding elevator to the 5th floor, feeling too lazy to climb the stairs. i got off the elevator, walked down the hall and stopped at apt 504. i turned the knob and started walking in, only to have to door slam shut in my face. so i tried again, laughing, but this time it locked. then i started saying "amanda, chuck, come on, just let me in!" (thinking that they were just playing a joke on me...which is something that they definately would do) then i hear a click as the door unlocks, as it whips open to reveal a large, angry looking asian man saying "yah? what?!" all puffed up, looking like he was going to pummle me (we are, after all, very close to jane and finch). i just stared, wide eyed, and exclaimed "OH MY GOD! i'm on the WRONG floor! i'm sorry, i'm sorry!"

apparently amanda lives at apt 404. who knew? i've only been there countless times...

priceless

waiting

2006-11-17T19:32:00.000-05:00

right now i am sitting in coupe bizzarre waiting while holly gets her hair cut. i really wanted to get a cut tonight, but jodi (the girl who cuts my hair well, and doesn't make me cry) was booked for tonight... so instead, i'm going tomorrow at 5pm. awesome.

today i've been working on the files for the lawyer all day. its kind of stressful since they're due on monday. tomorrow beth and i have to inventory the entire store, which means with my sunday shift at starbucks, this has been a 7 day work week... *sigh

tonight there was a micahel snow screening at 7pm at mocca... i didn't go. now i wish i had, although i secretly am excited to see holly's new haircut. and i got to read an article about jason schwartzman. he's writing a film with WES ANDERSON to star adrian brody and owen wilson! WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?! i can't wait. schwartzman and anderson?! nothing but goodness can possibly result from that.

well, my battery is supremely dead...so i need to go.

lovey love.

m.

realization

2006-11-17T13:44:00.001-05:00

i'm not very good at pretending...

i've figured it out!

2006-11-15T14:45:00.000-05:00

oh man. it only took me a bazillion years to figure out how to edit my "links" section on my blog. it could be because i don't understand html at all...

anyways, today i was determined to figure it out and i did it! hurray!

m.

money trouble

2006-11-14T17:16:00.000-05:00

more distributers came to the store today. they want their money. too bad we don't have any...

le sigh

stress abounds today.

jesus get me through... we need a miracle...

p.s.

2006-11-13T16:34:00.000-05:00

i'm feeling slightly hurt that people think i'm just hopping on the nscad bandwagon because tom is there... can't you give me more credit than that?

question:
why can't i have my own dream?

NSCAD

2006-11-13T16:24:00.000-05:00

today i e-mailed some profs from nscad to set up appointments with them to find out more about the grad program and to meet the profs i'd be working under. both bob bean (photo prof) and bruce barber (director of grad studies) have already contacted me about meeting. hurray! i'm quite excited. bruce is going to set up a tour and stuff for me, and find times when i can meet with other faculty there. i'm pretty excited. this is real, it's actually happening!

this weekend was alright. i spent saturday aimlessly wandering toronto in search of christmas presents... i went to a small press book fair with rachel during the day, and at night i went to see stranger than fiction with holly.

sunday i went to taafi with ashleigh, had dinner with shay. i bought a marcel dzama catologue from oaag's room at the drake. i think he's my favorite artist... i headed to freedomize, but was late. after church i went out for dinner with jason, his sister, sherrie, and enoch. for the record, jason makes me crazy. he's nice, and funny, but so high falutant. it was actually embarassing how many times he told the people at the restaraunt that he worked at such and such a restaraunt as a cook.

tonight i think i will hit up woolfitts.

the end

arrogance

2006-11-09T18:57:00.000-05:00

right now i'm reading a really great book called art objects by jeanette winterson. i came across this quote that seemed really interesting to me:

"we hear a lot about the arrogance of the artist but nothing about the arrogance of the audience. the audience, who have not done the work, who have not taken any risks, whose life and livelihood are not bound up at every moment with what they are making, who have given no thought to the medium or the method, will glance up...and walk away like some monstrous roman tyrant."

this book is causing me to reflect on just how i look at art, and how i justify whether or not i like a piece. what makes a piece "good" or "bad".

i would recommend for anyone interested in art to read it.

the end.

booked

2006-11-09T18:49:00.000-05:00

i booked my first ever flight today. halifax here i come!! i leave the 7th of december and come back the 12th. i saw jennifer fisher and told her i booked my flight, and she exploded with excitement. she wants me to set up appointments with bruce barber and jayne wark, have coffee with them and chat. secretly i am so scared.

today was the longest day of work ever, or at least the last 3 hours were the longest 3 hours ever.

i'm feeling excited for christmas. i went into starbucks this morning and they've done the christmas switch-over! it looks so great... i LOVE christmas. its definately the best season.

today i was so terrified to tell sarah (sbux mgr) that i was going to have to book off time for my trip to halifax, combined with the time i need off for christmas (since christmas is blackout time, meaning no one can book it off). but she was totally cool about it! i prayed that things would work out, and they did. i feel like god is really piecing things together for me. things are just falling into place.

anyways, i should go home. i need to do some stuff to sooth the soul (ie. make buttons)

love megarrah